The beginning of the end
by CatchersRiddle
Summary: Whats happens to Sharpay when the one ray of sunshine in her life kills himself? How will she react? How will she cope? Who will she turn to, and who will be there for her? Better than the summary. Two part fanfic.


**(AN: I would like to warn you that this story contains death, and prehaps mature features, depending on what you would class as 'mature features'. This story wasn't completely written by me, as due credit goes to the rightful owners of some paragraphs. I'm very sorry that I can not give credit to everyone individually, but this story has been in the making for a little over a year, and I have since lost the links to the stories where some of the paragraphs came from. If you recongise one of your paragraph here, please tell me and I will credit you in my AN.**

**This is a story I have after having inspiration from various different fanfiction I have read on here, and I have taken some paragraphs of other peoples work and worked them into my story, sometimes editiing the paragraphs. However, most of what you will read is my own work.**

**Gah, I am sorry, I am really bad at explaining. (: I hope you all enjoy. Please review! I am hoping to turning this into a two-part story. Maybe a three-part at the most.)**

Ryan sat in the empty room, gazing at the knife in his hand, nefarious thoughts in his mind. Stabbing himself. It wasn't the brave death that Darby Evans had, but it would have to do. He looked around the room he was in, it had no furniture and the dirty, pale yellow wall paper was peeling. A neglected abandon room within the school didn't have the same splendour as his home, where he would have liked to die, but this was the only place where he could do it uninterrupted.

Alone. That was how he wanted it to happen. He was alone after all, completely alone. He didn't want any heroes running in and saving him from his death, and he certainly did not want his twin sister finding him. He didn't talk to her any more...it was too painful, his depression ran too deep.

So it was in this shabby run-down room where his end would come. It was almost a metaphor for him, this room. Once splendid and full of life, but now a crucial element was gone and there was only the dull decay of time to keep it company. He lifted the knife to his heart, where it glinted dangerously with the red light of the receding sun.

Though his thoughts were suicidal, and it was just what Ryan needed, he couldn't bring himself to stab the knife though his heart.

_How could she kill my baby, we might have been young but that was our baby. I can still see the look in her eyes, she looked almost haunted, I just wish I could see her face when she finds out that both the people she loved are gone._

Ryan's phone rang loudly and it brings tears to his eyes as his song spills into the room: _**Now I'm Speechless, Over the edge, I'm just brea**_**-** He let it ring out.

_I don't wanna hear her voice. I'm sure this is what I want to do. To die_. Yet he still had my doubts. _Was this really the answer? She really did hurt me, she destroyed what we created…the only thing good that had come from me. Gone. Gone forever._

Slowly, and with little effort, he rose to his feet. He swayed at the sudden feeling of being light-headed, his thin body not adjusted to the great amount of pills he had taken hours before, in his first suicide attempt of the day.

He dropped the knife on the dirty floor, and looked over to the window, another idea forming in his head. A better, well thought one.

So now Ryan was sitting, eyes on the ground, a long way away. It was a dreadful long way. It would hurt a lot should he hit it. Enough to kill him? Surely. Hopefully. He thought about jumping for a while. Would he be able to go through with it? Maybe if he jumped he would just fall. And it would end. Maybe not. The problems were astronomical. Astronomical. Astronomy tower. He giggled. Yeah, it would hurt. So what? It can't hurt when you're dead. The memories, the lonliness. Everything gone.

**FLASH BACK **

**(earlier that same day- 2am Oasis nightclub)**

Ryan pulled Sharpay closer and she laid her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes as she did. "Shar." He said, his voice wavering.

"Hmm?" She asked, hugging him tightly. Ryan blinked back his tears and swallowed down his sobs. "I love you." He said, his voice slightly cracking, "And I'm sorry." Sharpay looked up at him confused. "Just…just say you love me, too." He whispered. He looked into her eyes and she could see his tears. "Ryan." She said, sensing something was wrong.

He looked away from her gaze before giving her a light kiss on the cheek. "Say it please." He cried pulling away from her.

"Why? Why do you need me to say it?" She asked. Their hands lingered on each others before Ryan pulled away. At that moment Sharpay felt as if she had lost something and was never going to get it back. "I want to hear you say it one last time." He whispered. Her stomach churned and she felt a sudden terror descend on her.

"Ry!" She said urgently as a booming hip-hop song gushed out of the speakers.

Tears began spilling out of Ryan's eyes. "I'm sorry." He cried, before pushing through the mobs of teenagers that surrounded them.

"Wait!" She yelled. She tried to run after him, but all ready the path he had taken closed up with a herd of teens bumping and grinding. The disco ball spun faster, and the strobe lights boomed with each base note. Sharpay clutched her head and tried to focus on which way he went as she was jostled around. She began pushing kids. She needed to get to her twin. She needed to see Ryan. Her brother. Her dear, beloved Ryan.

**END OF FLASHBACK**.

Sharpay had been everywhere since then, looking for her twin brother. Something was wrong with him, she just knew it. The words! Everything he had said, it was all doom and gloom. Something was up with him, and she felt as if something bad was going to happen. She had, repeat, SHE HAD to find him.

"Sharpay?" Someone timidly squeaked at her, tapping her arms to get her attention.

She spun around, to come face to face with a freshman from school, who was looking deadly terrified. And who could blame him? He was interrupting something that the 'Ice Queen' of East High was doing. That would be terrifying on any normal day, but today Sharpay seemed to be even more moodier.

"WHAT?" She snapped, not paying complete attention to the guy because she was looking over his shoulder, down the corridor, just to check that she hadn't missed Ryan there.

"Ermm. I was told to.." The poor boy stuttered.

"Spit it out!" Sharpay hissed, her mood not very good, since she was afraid, and had nearly been up for a full 36 hours with no sleep.

"IWasToldToComeAndGetYouBecauseRyanHasBeenSpottedSittingOnAHighWindowsilNearTheNorthOfTheSchoolAndPeopleThinkHeIsGoingToJump!" The boy said really quickly, stepping back out of surprise, when the emotion completely changed on the 'Ice Queen's' face.

Ryan! High windowsill. Spotted. High windowsill. Jump. High. Jump. People. Jump!

Sharpay added everything up, and Sharpay wasn't going to waste anymore time standing here. She needed to get to Ryan. It was a very strong, dire need. One impossible to shove to the side for later.

"MOVE!" She yelled, pushing people out of her way as she practically ran towards the exit of the school.

"Ohh, Ice Queen is ticked." They laughed. She didn't have time for this! Someone came up behind her and pulled her back from charging at her classmates again. "Hey!" Troy said happily to her.

"Troy! Let me go! I have to..Ryan!…somethings wrong!" She cried, trying to pull away from him.

"Forget him. He's a f*g anyways." Troy said, already trying to get Sharpay make out with him.

"Let me go!" She cried. When Troy didn't she whirled on him, slapping him across the face. He was to shocked to say anything as Sharpay ran down the hall. That was out of character for Sharpay. She would never give up an opportunity to make out with a hot lad, unless it was urgent.

"What's wrong, Sharpay?" A asking, running up to her. Sharpay pushed the lady out of the way. "Ryan!" She yelled effortlessly while running to the stairs. She ripped off her heals and ran down the first flight of stairs, cursing their huge school. She ran the quickest ways she could, but every step she stumbled made her fear she was too late.

It hadn't taken her long to reach the exit off the school, and run around the the north side. Her feet were mucky, and hurt from all the stones she ran over, but she didn't care. She would run over hot coals for Ryan. Anyday. Everyday.

Sharpay pushed though crowds of people, and it seemed to her as if everyone from the school had now gathered outside to watch. Her weird suspicions from earlier today now seemed to be correct. "RYAN!" She screamed, tears streaming out of her eyes, as she saw him sitting on a windowsill at the top of a tower.

The whispers from the students that had gathered below him drifted up to Ryan's ears. He sat on the windowsill for a long time now. Five minute or more now. Now all he had to do was lurch forward and fall. That's all, and he would be okay. No one could hurt him anymore. No more thoughts about his and Zhenya's baby. There would be no more drunken father to fill his days with painful beatings. No more people whispering behind his back or making sarcastic remarks.

But there also would be no more Sharpay. The one person that had shown him compassion and love from the day they met. He knew he was the only one who could melt away her Ice Queen exterior anymore. Other people used to be able to do the same, but they had all left her. Like he was going to leave her now. Ryan blinked away the tears. He had originally thought to end his life now with no on watching. But now he knew he had to jump before the people watching him got Sharpay. That way he could die with just a glimmer of happiness in his soul.

Then, he heard Sharpay yelling up to him. When he finally looked down to the ground, he could spot her automatically. She was standing at the front of the crowd, looking up at him hopelessly, still dressed in the cloths she had worn the night before. His stomach dropped at the sigh of his sister, who was only three minutes older than him, this was the last time they would see each other alive. This was his final few minutes. Not even Sharpay was going to stop him from doing this. He cleared his throat and everyone below now looked up at him. He wanted to say something, but the big lump in his throat was stopping him from doing so.

Sharpay was furious. Sharpay was scared. Sharpay was racked with worry. Sharpay could feel her heart pounding rapidly against her chest in a way that was not healthy. Sharpay could feel the tears in the corner of her eyes. Sharpay could hear Ryan's heartbeat, even though it was high up and quiet, she could hear it, as if it was screaming down to her that this was it's last few heartbeats.

"Get down here this instant Ryan. Stop being stupid. I refuse to allow you to do this." She yelled up to him, her hands held up in the air. The people around her that muttered were doing her head in, but she didn't concentrate on them. Ryan was all that mattered right now.

She didn't understand what had got him so upset that he would do something as drastic like this. Sharpay and Ryan has always talked to each other. Sure, Ryan had become withdrawn the last few days, but Sharpay thought he would pull though it. Now it looked as if she was wrong. Very wrong.

Where was a teacher when you needed one? A friend? A phone? Where was her stupid phone? Oh yes, back home! Having a phone at a nightclub was stupid, but now she wished she had her phone. She wished she had something that could stop Strip.

Ryan sat on the windowsill, looking down at his sister, the feeling of love for his twin surrounded him with remnants and memories of times they spent together.

It hurt his heart just to think of them, but he couldn't let them keep him alive. He shouldn't stay alive just for his sister. For once he had to think about himself. The only thing he wanted right now was to delete was his existence.

He sat on the windowsil, surround by whispers from down below.

He sat on the windowsil, and thought of the unpredictable future he would have ahead of him if he didn't jump.

He wanted so badly to go down to his sister. Just to hear her say that she loved him one more time, and that yes, he was a good person, and yes, it made a difference, and yes, Zhenya was a bad person, but he shouldn't do this because of her.

He could stay alive.

But did he want to?

Did he want to keep putting his heart on the line, only to be let down in the end?

No...not really.

Ryan sat in the middle of the windowsil, with tears in his eyes.

He stared down coldly at the students below, that was all watching him with interested eyes, as if this was some sort of drama show he was putting on. But it clearly was not. He stared down with a cold heart, wishing they would all just leave him in piece. He stared down, trying to block out the image of his distraughted sister who didn't know what to do, and couldn't take it anymore. He closed his eyes and took a breath. He wanted to say something else to the school before he dyed the paths below a deep red. He knew these would be his last words, though no one would ever hear them.

The realization of what he was about to do suddenly shot through him at such an intense rate his hand loosened his tight grip on the windowsil, and he lost balance. He fell, and Ryan Natheniel Evans was no more.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**(Ryan's last thought/memory-thing. Life flashing though eyes).**_

"See?" Sharpay questioned, flashing him that heartbreaking smile of hers, "I made it more comfy! Now it's time for chick flicks!"

"Oh. No, no…" Ryan said, shaking his head, "No 's' on flick. It's only flick, not flicks. Chick flick."

"You're a dork, you know that, right?" Sharpay said, sitting down next to him. This time not as close to Ryan, because this movie was a fun, romantic one. No need to sit close to him and be safe. She pressed play and the movie soon begun.

It didn't take many minutes for Ryan's eyes to focus on other stuff than the screen. It was so boring watching two people trying to work things out.

"Oh, I love this part!" Sharpay suddenly exclaimed, excitingly clapping her hands together.

Ryan just looked at her, not understanding what was so great about a movie like that. He bit his lip, pondering over ideas of how to do something else, and distract her from the movie. His eyes caught the popcorn in the ball between them, and he grabbed a handful, turning to look at her, "Hey, Sharpay?"

She turned her head to the side and looked at him, questions in her blue pools, "Yeah?"

"You have something on you."

"What? No I don't!"

"Yes!" Ryan said, flicking the popcorn on her, "Popcorn!"

She let out a high-pitched scream, and shook her head, which caused popcorn to fly everywhere. Before Ryan knew it, she had grabbed a handful and thrown it at him. His eyes widened, and soon they were flicking popcorn at each other, not paying attention to Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey at all.

Somehow in all this mess, they ran out of popcorn, and Sharpay's top crept up her stomach, leaving Strip with no choice but to tickle her there. He sat on top of her legs, and she squirmed beneath him, giggling madly. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. He laughed too, enjoying having this effect on his sister. The fun family times they had together!

_***END OF FLASHBCK***_

Sharpay was watching her brother with distressed eyes, her heart thudding to hard for her own liking. She didn't know what was going on with Ryan, and she didn't know how to get him down from the windowsil. She was just to..f**ked in the head to think clearly.

Suddenly it all happened at once. Ryan was falling. Falling to his death. And she couldn't think of a way to save him. She grabbed a hold of the hand of the person stood next to her, although she had no idea who that person was. Ryan was falling! She began to be racked by sobs, "Ryan! Ryan, stop him from falling." She whispered furiously, unable to speak loudly from fear her voice would crack. "Help him." She screamed, becoming hysterical. "Save him, DAMNIT!" Her eyes were on her brother the whole time, as he was falling, getting closer and closer to the ground, then she had to look away."RY-" A sudden crack busted through her yell. A loud thud hit the ground and Sharpay screamed falling to her knees. She desperately shook her head as many mummers broke out from the crowd of helpless students who had just looked on, even though they had proberly had cell phones that they could of used to call for the police, or headmaster, or anyone who could of stopped this from happening.

Sharpay drop the hand of whoever it was that she had been holding onto, and crawled across the floor, scraping the soft skin of her knees and elbows against the rough pavement blocks, as she was unable to stand. She crawled over to where Ryan laid on the floor. Dead with his skull shattered, his neck snapped, his legs and arms hanging on odd angles. Sharpay cradled his limp body in her arms.

She didn't see the blood splatters on the pavement. She didn't hear the screams and sobs of a few people around. She didn't pay attention to anything. Except her brother in her arms.

"Let him go! He's gone." Someone close to her urged.

"NO!" Sharpay screamed at them. Then looking back at Ryan she clutched him against her. "Ryan, wake up! Wake up." She sobbed.

Her chest heaving with sobs.

"Oh, my God! Ryan!" She cradled her twin close to her, and didn't care that she got blood on her favourite dress.

She moved her body to a half sitting, half laying position against the foot of the wall, and held Ryan against her. "Dammit, Ry. You better wake up...This better be some kind of cruel joke..." she said into the blonde's ear. Of course, there was no response. "Ryan! Come back! This isn't funny! You're a great actor, now stop it!" Her twins body simply remained still, and cold in her shaking hands. Somehow though all her own tears, she noticed the tear stains on Ryan's paled out cheeks, "Oh, God, Ryan...I'm sorry..." she whispered as he kissed the cold cheek closest to her lips. "I'm sorry for what I most of done. Just wake up! Please.. for me!"

Sharpay, although she didn't want to admit it, Sharpay knew he was gone. He had no pulse. His blood was splattered on the ground, and his bones stuck out from his body. It was pretty clear to everyone that he was gone. "Ryan...Ryan, I love you...I always have...and I always will...Why did you do this to me...It wasn't supposed to be like this...Why couldn't you wait any longer...You could've talked to me...I could've helped you...This hurts too much...Ryan...come back...I'm so sorry...come back to me."

In the background, a song was playing, Sharpay knew it was Ryan's iPhone going off, but why answer it in a situation like this? The song that was playing? It was Sharpay and Ryan's song, and it made her feel empty now.

_I have often dreamed_

_Of a far-off place_

_Where a hero's welcome_

_Will be waiting for me_

_Where the crowds will cheer_

_When they see my face_

_And a voice keeps saying_

_This is where I'm meant to be_

Almost as if she expected something to be there, she looked at Ryan's hand. Sure enough, her intuition was right, and the hand held onto a folded piece of notebook paper. It looked surprisingly neat, with all of the edges torn off neatly, and not a single smudge of ink. Sharpay unfolded the paper and began to read quietly, murmuring each word at a nearly inaudible level.

_Who am I? Am I anyone? I've gone through so many identities that I'm not sure that even I can even answer these questions anymore. I'm not saying that it's your fault (I'm just about positive that Sharpay will be the first to read this, so I choose to address her). In fact, you probably helped me to hang on as long as you did. You gave me something that no one else could: hope. When were dancing, I felt like there was something greater than either of us that could someday make all of the pain worth it. I know that I pretended to hate it. We both knew this wasn't true, but I don't know just how well you knew. I can honestly say that you kept me alive. So, now for the million dollar question, why did I do it? I'm sure that in the upcoming weeks, you'll be asked that more times that you can count. I know that you hate talking to people who you don't see as 'important,' so I'm sorry to do that to you. But I think that you, and everyone, deserve an explanation. I understand that you won't want to tell people. Maybe you'll be too sad or too confused. Or maybe you just won't feel like being bothered with those small details (I must say, I hope its one of the first two). If the third is the case, well, I guess just tell them that I got hit by a car or something, you're a good actress. We'll keep the truth to ourselves, but first, you need to know what the truth is. I lost myself. What does that mean exactly? Well, let me just say, I'm not sure that I know what it means myself. I wish I could give some deep and philosophical answer, but there's nothing there…Nothing…That's become an interesting word in my life, a word that has defined my life for, perhaps weeks. I have nothing, I am nothing. This was a fact that I thought I could accept. I thought I could rest on our dreams for the future, biding our time. I know that you were never serious about them, but I was. The present, the past...they meant nothing to me. I was living for the future. Even when we were dancing, I was always picturing the lights burning in my eyes, the sound of an awestruck audience. So what changed? The present. I thought that our "reign" at school was the precursor for things to come. Then I saw the truth. We aren't stars. We aren't brilliant. At most, we're a couple of people with modest talent. If we can't hang on to the present, there's nothing for us in the future…And that's all that matters to me anymore. I'm sorry shouldn't become one this quickly. But I've been dead for long enough. I think you can manage on your own._

_Ryan Nathaniel Evans._

_Forever yout twin, I'll always be with you until you won't need me anymore._

It was clear to Sharpay that she was never going to be the same after this. Losing her mother, losing her best friend, losing her cousin, losing the only boyfriend she had felt compassionately about, losing a pet.. it was nothing like losing her twin.


End file.
